Life moves fast after college. Between careers, family commitments, and personal growth, it’s easy to lose touch with parts of your past that once felt central to your identity. For many Phi Mu alumnae, the sisterhood that was so important during college may now feel distant. You might find yourself thinking, “I’m not really a Phi Mu anymore.” Maybe it’s been years since you’ve attended an event or connected with sisters, or perhaps the busyness of life has shifted your priorities, making Phi Mu feel like a chapter you’ve closed.
But here’s the truth: Phi Mu is still part of who you are. Even if your relationship with the sisterhood has changed, that connection doesn’t have to fade completely. Whether it’s been months or years since you felt actively involved, there’s always a way to reconnect and rediscover your love for Phi Mu—on your terms and in a way that fits your current life.
If you’ve ever felt that disconnection, this post is for you. Let’s talk about why that feeling happens, how to embrace it without guilt, and how you can take steps to reconnect with the sisterhood that’s still there for you.
Understand Why Disconnection Happens
First, it’s important to recognize that feeling disconnected from Phi Mu is normal. Life is full of transitions, and as we step into new roles—whether as professionals, partners, parents, or community leaders—certain aspects of our past may naturally take a back seat. It’s not that Phi Mu is less important; it’s just that your life has changed, and with it, your priorities have shifted.
This disconnection can happen for many reasons:
Geographic distance: Moving away from your college town or chapter can make it harder to stay involved.
Busy schedules: Between work, family, and other commitments, there’s less time to attend alumnae events or reconnect with sisters.
Changing interests: Your passions and interests may have evolved, leaving you unsure of how Phi Mu fits into your current life.
Understanding that this disconnection is part of the natural flow of life can help you ease the guilt or frustration you may feel. It doesn’t mean you’ve “outgrown” Phi Mu or that you’re no longer part of the sisterhood—it just means it’s time to find new ways to reconnect that fit into your life as it is now.
How to Make Peace with Disconnection:
Acknowledge that life evolves: It’s okay that you’re not as involved as you once were. Phi Mu is a lifelong sisterhood, and your connection to it can ebb and flow over time.
Recognize that you’re not alone. Many alumnae feel this way, and it’s more common than you might think.
Let Go of the Pressure to “Do It All”
One reason many alumnae feel disconnected is the pressure to maintain the same level of involvement they had during college. Back then, Phi Mu was a daily part of your life, with chapter meetings, events, and constant contact with sisters. But as an alumna, your role has changed—and so has the level of engagement that’s possible.
It’s important to let go of the expectation that you need to be as involved as you once were. Your Phi Mu experience as an alumna can look different, and that’s okay. The key is finding what feels right for you now, without the pressure to attend every event or hold a leadership position.
How to Release the Pressure:
Understand that small steps count. Even something as simple as attending one alumnae event or reaching out to one sister is a way to stay connected.
Shift your mindset from “I have to do everything” to “I can engage in ways that fit my life now.” Phi Mu is there for you, no matter how often you show up.
Take Small Steps Toward Reconnection
If you’re feeling disconnected, the idea of jumping back into Phi Mu involvement can feel overwhelming. The good news is that reconnecting doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing leap. It’s about taking small, manageable steps that reignite your connection to the sisterhood—without overcommitting yourself or feeling pressured.
Start small:
Reach out to an old sister: Send a text or message to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. It doesn’t have to be deep—just a simple “thinking of you” can be a powerful way to rekindle the bond.
Follow Phi Mu on social media: Keeping up with alumnae news, philanthropic efforts, or chapter updates can help you feel reconnected in a low-pressure way.
Attend a virtual or local alumnae event: If there’s an alumnae chapter near you or an online event happening, try attending—even if it’s just for a short time. Reconnecting face-to-face or virtually can help bridge the gap.
How to Start Reconnecting:
Don’t overthink it: Even the smallest action is a step toward reconnection. Whether it’s a message, a follow, or attending an event, you’re reigniting your Phi Mu bond in a way that works for you.
Celebrate each small step you take—progress over perfection is key.
Find New Ways to Be Involved
Sometimes disconnection happens because the ways we used to engage with Phi Mu no longer fit our lives. Maybe attending regular events isn’t feasible, or you’ve moved away from your local alumnae chapter. That doesn’t mean you can’t stay involved—it just means you need to find new ways to connect that align with your current circumstances.
Explore different ways to participate in Phi Mu that feel more aligned with your current life:
Volunteer or mentor: Many alumnae find meaning in giving back through mentorship. Whether that’s mentoring a collegiate member or offering advice to younger alumnae, this is a way to stay connected in a meaningful, flexible way.
Support Phi Mu’s philanthropic efforts: You don’t have to attend events to contribute to Phi Mu’s mission. Donating to Phi Mu Foundation or participating in Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals fundraising is a powerful way to stay engaged from anywhere.
Attend a convention or reunion: National Phi Mu events, like conventions, are a great way to immerse yourself in the sisterhood again without the pressure of regular involvement. These events can be a chance to reconnect with sisters from all over and rekindle your love for Phi Mu.
How to Find New Ways to Engage:
Explore different roles within the alumnae network—whether that’s helping with philanthropy, mentoring, or offering your talents in new ways.
Reach out to your local chapter or national organization to see how you can get involved in ways that fit your schedule and life circumstances.
Reignite Your Love for Phi Mu
Sometimes, feeling disconnected can stem from forgetting why Phi Mu mattered to you in the first place. Life gets busy, and it’s easy to lose sight of the values, friendships, and experiences that made Phi Mu such an important part of your life. Taking time to reflect on what Phi Mu means to you now, and why it mattered then, can help you rekindle that love.
Ask yourself:
What drew me to Phi Mu in the first place?
How did being a member of Phi Mu shape me as a person?
What values of Phi Mu—love, honor, and truth—still resonate with me today?
By reconnecting with those feelings and reflecting on the role Phi Mu played in your life, you can begin to rediscover your sense of belonging within the sisterhood.
How to Reignite Your Love for Phi Mu:
Reflect on memories and experiences that shaped your time in Phi Mu. Journaling or talking to old sisters can bring those feelings back to the surface.
Consider how Phi Mu’s values—love, honor, truth—are still present in your life, even if you’re not actively involved. This can remind you that Phi Mu isn’t just a sorority—it’s a lifelong sisterhood.
If you’ve ever felt disconnected from Phi Mu, know that you’re not alone—and more importantly, it’s never too late to reconnect. Life changes, but sisterhood is constant, even if it evolves. By taking small steps, finding new ways to engage, and rediscovering what Phi Mu means to you now, you can rekindle your love for the sisterhood in a way that fits your current life.
Phi Mu is still part of who you are, and your place in the sisterhood is always there, waiting for you. It’s not about jumping back in full-force—it’s about reconnecting in ways that feel meaningful to you, wherever you are on your journey.
Ready to rediscover your love for Phi Mu? Your sisters are waiting for you with open arms. 💕