Whether you’ve been scrolling through Instagram or getting lost in TikTok’s endless loop, it’s hard to miss the constant stream of content from collegiate sisters living their best lives. From Bid Day celebrations to late-night bonding sessions, social media paints a picture of sorority life that feels vibrant, exciting, and, well, kind of exclusive. As an alumna, watching your chapter continue without you can trigger an all-too-familiar feeling: FOMO—the Fear of Missing Out.
It’s something alumnae don’t often talk about, but the reality is that seeing younger sisters experience the “best years of their lives” can stir up emotions of nostalgia, longing, and even a bit of envy. You might ask yourself, “Am I missing out? Have I moved too far away from something that used to mean so much to me?”
The good news? FOMO doesn’t have to take away from your love of Phi Mu or your role as an alumna. Here’s how to handle those feelings when they pop up and reframe your relationship with your chapter in a way that feels fulfilling and empowering in this new phase of life.
Recognize That FOMO is Normal (And You’re Not Alone)
First things first: feeling FOMO as an alumna is completely normal. When something was such a huge part of your life for years—an experience that shaped your friendships, your personal growth, and your college journey—it’s only natural to feel a sense of longing when you see others enjoying those same experiences.
What you’re feeling is more than just jealousy—it’s a reaction to missing a time in your life that was filled with meaning and joy. Social media can amplify these feelings, especially when it’s filled with polished highlights of events you used to participate in. Just know that many other alumnae feel the same way, even if they don’t talk about it openly.
How to Embrace It:
Acknowledge that nostalgia and longing are part of the post-college experience. It’s okay to miss those moments—that doesn’t mean you’re living in the past, just that those experiences mattered to you.
Reach out to other alumnae to talk about those feelings. You’ll likely find they’ve had similar experiences, which can help normalize what you’re going through.
Social Media Only Tells Part of the Story
Remember, what you’re seeing on social media is the highlight reel, not the full picture. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking current collegiate members are having the "best years of their lives" when all you see are the fun moments captured through perfectly filtered photos and TikTok videos. But just like in your time, there are ups and downs, challenges, and moments that don’t make it onto social media.
The same goes for your current life. Sure, your days may not involve Bid Days and themed parties anymore, but that doesn’t mean your experiences are any less valuable or exciting. Social media skews reality, often making us feel like we’re missing out on something that may not even exist the way it appears online.
How to Reframe Social Media:
When you feel FOMO creeping in, remind yourself that social media is just a curated snapshot. Your college days weren’t perfect, and neither are theirs—every experience has its ups and downs.
Limit your time scrolling if it brings up negative feelings. Take a break from social media and focus on the present moment and the joy in your current life.
Reframe Your Relationship with Your Chapter
It’s important to remember that while your role in Phi Mu has changed, your relationship with the sisterhood hasn’t disappeared. You’re not missing out—you’re evolving. You’ve moved on from being an active collegiate member to stepping into the alumnae role, which comes with its own unique opportunities for connection and fulfillment.
Think of this as the next chapter in your Phi Mu journey. Just because you’re no longer attending weekly meetings or big events doesn’t mean you’re any less a part of the sisterhood. Now, you can contribute in new ways—mentoring collegiate sisters, getting involved in alumnae chapters, or staying connected through national events.
How to Reframe Your Role:
Shift your perspective from “I’m missing out” to “I’m growing.” You’ve experienced that part of your life, and now you’re in a position to support and guide the sisters coming after you.
Consider joining an alumnae chapter or offering to help with chapter events in an advisory capacity. It’s a way to stay engaged without needing to be in the center of the action.
Find New Ways to Stay Connected
While FOMO might make you feel disconnected, there are many ways to stay involved with Phi Mu as an alumna. Instead of focusing on what you’re missing, shift your energy to what you can still gain. Whether it’s through philanthropy, alumnae events, or mentorship, there are countless ways to remain part of the sisterhood, even if you’re no longer living the collegiate experience.
Creating new traditions and relationships within the alumnae community can fill the gap left by missing out on chapter events. It’s all about finding new ways to stay engaged that align with your current life stage.
Ways to Stay Engaged:
Mentor a collegiate member—offer your guidance and wisdom to a younger sister navigating her journey.
Attend alumnae events in your area or reconnect with sisters you’ve lost touch with to form new traditions.
Get involved in philanthropic efforts like Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, continuing Phi Mu’s legacy of service.
Volunteer with Phi Mu Fraternity or Phi Mu Foundation
Celebrate Where You Are Now
It’s easy to look back and idealize your collegiate years, but it’s important to celebrate where you are now. You’ve grown since your time in college, and the experiences and lessons you’ve learned as a Phi Mu are now helping you navigate new phases of life—whether it’s starting a career, building a family, or exploring new passions.
Instead of letting FOMO steal your joy, focus on how you can bring the values of love, honor, and truth into your current life. You’re still living the Phi Mu sisterhood, just in different ways. The friendships you’ve built, the leadership skills you’ve honed, and the experiences you’ve had as a Phi Mu member are still very much a part of who you are.
How to Celebrate Now:
Reflect on how your time in Phi Mu prepared you for where you are today. Celebrate the growth you’ve experienced and the new challenges you’re embracing.
Practice gratitude for the friendships and experiences that Phi Mu gave you, knowing that they will continue to shape you for years to come.
FOMO is real, but it doesn’t have to control how you feel about your role in Phi Mu. While the collegiate chapter continues without you, your Phi Mu experience is still evolving. The key is to embrace this new phase of your journey and find new ways to stay connected that feel fulfilling and relevant.
You’ve lived those "best years"—and now, you’re shaping the next chapter of your life. Phi Mu isn’t just about the collegiate experience; it’s a lifelong sisterhood that grows with you. So instead of feeling like you’re missing out, lean into the new opportunities to support, guide, and connect with your sisters in meaningful ways. 💫