For many of us, our Phi Mu experience during college was one of the most defining parts of our lives. Living side by side with our sisters, attending chapter meetings, and participating in countless events gave us a structure for building close relationships. But what happens after we graduate? Does sisterhood change when you’re no longer sharing the same campus or attending the same events?
The short answer is: Yes, sisterhood does change. But that doesn’t mean it fades—it evolves. As alumnae, we may no longer have the same routine that brought us together during our collegiate years, but those bonds don’t have to weaken. Sisterhood just takes on a new form, one that requires a little more intention and flexibility. Let’s dive into how the dynamics of sisterhood shift after college and how we can keep those connections strong, even as our lives and circumstances change.
Acknowledge That Relationships Will Shift (And That's Okay!)
It’s normal to feel anxious about how your friendships with sisters will change once you’re no longer living in the same place or seeing each other regularly. The close-knit structure of chapter life is suddenly gone, and keeping those connections requires more effort. However, this shift doesn’t mean the friendships you’ve built will disappear—it just means they’ll evolve.
Post-graduation life comes with new responsibilities: careers, relationships, moving to new cities, and other changes that naturally pull you in different directions. Some friendships might become less frequent, and that’s okay. It’s important to release the pressure to maintain friendships exactly as they were in college and accept that sisterhood can take on different forms as life moves forward.
How to Embrace the Shift:
Understand that it’s natural for friendships to ebb and flow based on life circumstances, but that doesn’t diminish the bond you share.
Rather than focusing on quantity (how often you talk or see each other), focus on quality—the depth and meaning of your connections.
Stay Connected—But Let Go of Expectations
In college, it was easy to stay close because your lives were constantly intertwined. But in post-college life, staying connected takes more effort. You may not see your sisters at weekly chapter meetings or during spontaneous campus hangouts, but that doesn’t mean you can’t continue to nurture those relationships.
That said, managing expectations is key. Your life, and the lives of your sisters, will become busier and more complicated. It’s unrealistic to expect the same level of interaction you had in college. What you can do, though, is find new ways to connect that fit into your evolving lives.
How to Stay Connected Without Pressure:
Take advantage of technology! Group texts, video calls, or even social media check-ins are easy ways to stay in touch without demanding too much time.
Plan annual meetups or reunions, even if they’re small or virtual, to keep the tradition of sisterhood alive.
Understand that periods of silence don’t mean the friendship is over. Life gets busy, and picking up where you left off—whether after a month or a year—is part of how sisterhood can survive long-term.
Sisterhood in Adulthood: Embrace Different Types of Support
One of the biggest changes that happens after graduation is that the kind of support we need from our sisters evolves. During college, you may have bonded over shared experiences like classes, social events, and chapter responsibilities. As an alumna, the kind of support you give and receive from your sisters may look different—it might be career advice, emotional support through personal struggles, or celebrating major life milestones like weddings and new jobs.
As you move through different phases of life, your relationships with your Phi Mu sisters will deepen in new ways. You might find that, even though you don’t talk daily, your sisters show up for you when it matters most.
How to Embrace New Forms of Support:
Be open to giving and receiving different kinds of support as you move through life—whether it’s offering job advice, cheering on personal achievements, or simply listening when a sister needs to talk.
Don’t feel guilty if you and your sisters connect less frequently than you did in college. Quality over quantity matters more as you grow older.
Cultivate New Traditions as Alumnae
When you’re no longer bound by the same chapter events, it’s important to cultivate new traditions that reflect your current stage of life. As alumnae, you have the freedom to create rituals that work for your new schedules and interests. This could be an annual retreat, a standing brunch date with local sisters, or even a shared philanthropic project.
These traditions don’t have to be elaborate. What matters is that you continue to create opportunities to bond in ways that are meaningful to you now.
Ideas for Creating New Traditions:
Plan an annual weekend getaway or a low-key reunion every year. Even something as simple as a virtual happy hour can keep the tradition of togetherness alive.
Consider starting a group philanthropy project or volunteer together as alumnae. Carrying on the tradition of service can be a fulfilling way to maintain sisterhood while giving back.
Start a book club or other shared interest group with your sisters. Bonding over something you all enjoy can keep the connection fresh and fun.
Find New Ways to Get Involved with Phi Mu
Another way to maintain your connection to sisterhood is by staying involved with Phi Mu in different ways. Joining an alumnae chapter, serving as a chapter advisor, or attending regional and national events can give you the structure and connection that you may have missed since leaving campus life.
Alumnae chapters offer opportunities to meet sisters who are at different stages of life, building friendships beyond your immediate chapter. You might find that this opens new doors for personal and professional growth, all while staying rooted in Phi Mu’s values of love, honor, and truth.
How to Get Involved as an Alumna:
Look for a local alumnae chapter and attend events. This is a great way to meet sisters in your area and strengthen your network.
Stay connected with Phi Mu national events, conventions, or philanthropic efforts like Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals.
Consider becoming a mentor to collegiate members or younger alumnae. Giving back to the next generation of sisters can be incredibly rewarding and help maintain your sense of connection to Phi Mu.
Yes, sisterhood does change after graduation. But rather than seeing this as a loss, think of it as an evolution. As your life and the lives of your sisters grow and change, so too will the ways you connect and support one another. Whether it’s through quiet check-ins, annual traditions, or new alumnae involvement, sisterhood is a constant force in your life that adapts with you.
While the days of shared campus life may be behind you, the values, love, and bonds of Phi Mu continue to thrive as you navigate adulthood. Your friendships might take new shapes, but they are no less meaningful. Phi Mu sisterhood is about more than proximity—it’s about a lifelong connection that grows alongside you.
The next chapter of your Phi Mu journey is waiting—how will you nurture your sisterhood in this new phase? 💕